thrifting as cruising
wryly mccutchen sew what

i thrift most of my clothes. i love the thrill of the hunt. the chance nature of it. it’s a bit like cruising, no? you sense an intense energy. & when you look, you’re dazzled from across the room/aisle. from this distance, you can’t make out the finer details of your mysterious provocateur. you approach, maybe run a finger over seams. search the collar for indicators of what this being/object might be comprised of. you try on/out a few things. & if all the stars & signs align, you make it home together. & just maybe that someone/something even wears you (out) just as much as you wear them (out).
i'm a poet & performing artist. i consider my expression through clothes akin to my poetry practice. or at least it’s a related art form i’d say. i often bring in small elements that remind me to be open to the stranger sparks & wobbles of this universe. add something to the middle. & then remove it bc it’s far too darling. cherish the awareness of its absence. this approach, when applied to clothes, also enables me to find other creative weirdos. a kind of artfag flagging, if you will. we see each other by design.
in the early days of my outward gender variance, thrift stores were one of the few sites i was truly able to stretch my gender explorations safely. i was comfortable there because that's where my mom took a much younger me to get "new clothes" second hand. i even enjoy the way i can sometimes smell but never know the history. can only ever imagine what the first hands must have done to them.
i tend to take a very "shop local" approach to buying accessories or non-thrifted items. i buy jewelry from other trans & queer artists most of them from the PNW (where i live). i only really wanna pay full price to my LGBTQAI+ fam & to BIPoC creators. same goes for body mods (tats & piercings).
one of my favorite poems of all time is Delight in Disorder by Robert Herrick, which might just be the first poem ever written about Spretzzatura/studied nonchalance:
[…]
More bewitch me than when art
Is too precise in every part

this poem carries a sense of casual & even transcendent disruption. a loving acknowledgement of convention in cahoots with a subversion of it. & while i do love rules, what i most love, what i think to be most queer, is to strategically stray from accepted/enforced forms. when i do it i feel I’m breaking from respectability in nourishing ways. in ways that feed my well-ancestors & rebuff the troubling ghosts.
some of my more recent breaks from form:
-
in my latest foray into lipograms i decided to include one use each of the three letters (ROY) i was otherwise excluding from the rest of the text.
-
in dress, it can look like an ostensibly all-black outfit punctuated by oxblood shoes & a pair of socks that say “DADDY” in all caps, bright white lettering.
maybe none of this makes sense. but to me it does. when you’re queer & trans in this world, it is a form of resistance to be at ease & in disdain (of the status quo). i aim for an aggressively flamboyant ease. i Delight in Disorder. in dress & in poetry, i simultaneously soothe myself & defy those who(’d) diminish the vibrancy of the ancient trans family i am so lucky to be within.
vol. 01
summer 2021

about the artist
Wryly T. McCutchen is a hybrid writer, interdisciplinary performer, teaching artist, & 2018 LAMBDA Fellow. Their poetry has appeared in Foglifter, Papeachu Review, & Nat. Brut. Wryly holds a dual genre MFA in creative nonfiction & poetry from Antioch University Los Angeles & teaches writing at Hugo House. Their debut collection, My Ugly and Other Love Snarls , was published in 2017 by University of Hell press. Wryly resides on unceded lands, stewarded by the Cowlitz & Clackamas peoples, where they cast spells in text & flesh & sweat.